Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in dophielu's LiveJournal:

Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
10:49 am	Greetings All! Well it has been awhile since I hit the old LJ but decided to give it another go. I am getting ready to leave on my asian exsperience in a few days and honestly I am little nervous. I will be in Korea most of the time but will also head to Tokyo to visit a good friend and Hong Kong to well I do not know yet! LOL.....I will try and hit the LJ from Internet Cafe's and drop some knowledge or lack of it as it may be. I hope everyone is well and that everyone is happy! Remember my moto live today like there is not a tommorow :) lots of everything! S. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 8th, 2005
6:58 am	Friday in the morn. I have been up about an hour now. As many of you know I like to make coffee in the morning even though I do not ever drink the stuff, I find the smell very comforting. This morning I have chosen a rather strong smelling blend a Hawaiian Hazelnut, hmmmmm..sort of a rich sweet mixture of coconut milk and creamy hazelnut, ohhh it's smell is soooo alluring! I am so nervous right now. You would think with all my rounds of surgery I would be an old pro hmmm? Yet I find each time to be as difficult as the one before. I go through the same cycle in my head of did I say the right things to those that I love? Did I eat the best thing I could have? Did I listen to my favorite album? I know it seems silly but those are things that run through my mind over and over...In particular the one about did I say all the things I needed to those I love....and the answer always remains....NO...Talking about my feelings and emotions has never been a particular strong point for me. I tend to be one of those people that excels in oil painting or playing piano because I use them as outlets for conversations I wish I would have had if that makes any sense LOL... Anyhow....as I am famous for always saying in order to change the subject or be invasive about the topic at hand...I am going to jump in the shower...drink my one 8 oz glass of water...take some pills and have my sister take me to the hospital... And as I always say to my friend Yed...be good to someone today..someone totally random..because you just might change there life in that moment, if even in the smallest of ways :)... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 7th, 2005
9:04 pm	:) I was informed I had a new friend on my LJ list......I am so happy! After a few moments of thought I figured it must be my DC girl! You will have to forgive me I have had a flu/cold...and am headed into surgery tomm. morning so I have not been thinking so clear of late. I will try and post back soon I promise.. Be good everyone.....and know I am thinking of you all!!!! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
11:50 am	yucky Well I woke up this morning with a temp of about 101. I feel yucky...I am grumpy....! The worst part about it is my surgery on Friday. Normally I might welcome putting it off, but I just want to get it done. So wish me luck as I try and consume as much water and vitamin C as I can in the next 24 hours. It is to hard to type, sort of blurring together now.....better go. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 4th, 2005
11:06 pm	lingering Hmmm not much to say about my day, which is sort of sad I guess LOL. I have been thinking about political stuff a lot today. Who will be the next pope? I am hoping it is Cardinal Francis Arinze, I think he has graceful and global idea of what the vatican can do for challenging the skepticism to peace without violence. I know I know...that is such a idealistic way to view our world. But I do believe that there has to be a non-war method to making change and if that is not the case then I am fearful for this world. All of the political and social unrest in Africa is making me uneasy. People keep dying in Angola when the most simple western medicine could stop the dying for them. Some 180,000 people have died in Darfur already with more to come. I tried to talk about it today with a person I hang out with from time to time....and this person asked me "why what is going on in Africa?" I can honestly say at that moment I was scared! How can people not know what is going on outside the immediate world they live in? And why in god's name would they not want to know what is happening to people around the world? Have we grown into a country of people that have no regard for the suffering, torture and misfortune of other people? I scanned over the headlines of various newspapers in the US and the headlines where consumed with Michael Jackson, Celebrity this and that..I dont know maybe it is just me..maybe I am being to sensitive but it makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like each day I get up I know a part of myself will break a little more because of this driving force it seems we have found in ending social and political ideas as I know them to be true. Ok that is all I will vent about LOL...... Another day...Another wish..... (Comment on this)
1:35 am	Hey thanks :) I just want to say I am totally one hundred percent hooked on the singer John Legend, hmmmmm!!!! So thanks N. for getting my hooked...I do not listen to a lot of 'popular" music...but this guy is wonderful! Might I return the favor and have you check out some Zero 7 "when it falls" excellant album...check it out... (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
11:32 am	Sunday I got up this morning to go swim early and had not realized the time switch at midnight last night. Anyhow the pool was closed and had to wait an hour for it to open. So there I was trapped in my car listening to some extremly bad music on some pop radio station thinking how bad popular music has become. I had considered changing it to the MPR but it was playing classical ( which I love) and thought it would put me to sleep at the wee hours of the morning. And while the idear of sleep seemed inviting at that moment, the idear of sleeping in my car in a parking lot seemed like a bad plan. I have nothing much to say today other then I am very grumpy and feel slightly annoyed. I am hoping when I take my pup out to the woods in a bit it will lift my spirits a bunch :). I made the best sandwich to take with me.....fresh made oat wheat bread with sunflower sprouts, jalapenos, red onions, carrot, cucumber, roma tomato, a little bit of fresh grated asiago cheese and some brown mustard. I am getting hungry just thinking about it right now! I love veggie sandwiches I swear I could live off of them.. LOL... Plus my dog really digs veggies so I can give him little snacks off my sandwich while was wander. Well that is it for my big day...sorry it is rather boring :) (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
2:18 pm	sad ): I am not even a catholic but the death of the John Paul II has left me rather sad. Despite my great dislike of the catholic political structure I have to admit I admired the work of this man. He did great things for people in general around the world through his work and his relentless dedication to peace. (Comment on this)
9:16 am	Hmmmm Well it is Saturday morning and I am feeling rather lazy. I woke up, went and swam about 2 miles in the pool and about passed out from being tired. Five more days until my "big" day. I am hoping that this one goes much easier then the last few. They say they might not even have to cut into me this time but will not know until that day during the operation. I am going to remain hopefully that they can pull it out with a scope. I hate the recovery process from being cut. This never ending yo-yo of getting really skinny and sore, to in pain and mushy.. to feeling better. I am just getting sick of it all, yah know? My docs. have given me the greatest hope that this might be my last round of everything, please let it be true. Other then that stuff hanging over my head I am feeling pretty happy in my life at this moment. I remain hopeful despite all my obstacles that I am destined to be a part of something greater. I am hopeful despite all my hurdles that I will find love and it will feel so gooooooood. I am hopeful despite all that I have to do this week that my life will find some peace in the comings months. Plus I am hopeful I am going to have a great summer traveling and seeing old and new friends. I hope you all have a wonderful day today and know that I am thinking of you and hoping you are all doing well and that I am sending lots of love to you in my heart. Remember to do something kind for someone this weekend you will not regret it :) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 1st, 2005
9:04 am	Hmmm My sister perhaps might be the only one to truly appreciate this next entry. So I get this call yesterday afternoon from someone I will just call "guy". He spoke to me with great ease and seem to know quite a bit about me. Normally I found it quite lovely to have someone call me for a little chat but I could not figure out who "guy" was despite him telling me his first name at the beginning of the call. So there I was in this rather humorous situation where I was trying to pretend like I knew who he was. Feeling rather embarrassed because I could not figure out who he was. The conversation eventually led to him asking me out for dinner which I was fairly certain from the start that it was going towards "that" question. I was a smig skeptical about saying yes but my humiliation of not being able to place his voice or name got the best of me so I agreed to go. I did however pick the place and time so I felt fairly safe in the event he turned out to be a psycho killer from a bad B movie. So the next big question was what should I wear. Should I pull on some sweats and run out the door trying not to encourage this poor "guy" I do not know if I know? Or do I put my best foot forward and look nice? I opted to split the difference and looked kind of nice LOL......So there I was at the cafe waiting waiting...getting annoyed..waiting....He is now 20 minutes late which I find rather offensive. I am now at the end of my first merlot and I am getting ready to leave when "guy" finally shows up. I am less annoyed when I see him and instantly remember who he is. It turns out "guy" is someone that I met who worked on the John Kerry campaign from DC. He was passing through my area and decided he would call me. So there we are heavily engaged in political conversation expressing to one another our sorrows over our current "regime". Naturally the conversation falls on to the topic of "right to die" and "living wills" and the irony of the press coverage of the Pope and his feeding tube verses how we failed Maria and let her die by removing hers. So 3 hours later and 2 bottles of wine down I begin to realize how nice it was to be there. Not so much because of him but rather because It made me think of my good friends ( all scattered about the world now) and how much I missed doing stuff like this with them. I have this group of 9 friends who have been my rocks and loves throughout my whole life, I miss them. Plus, how excited can I get about a guy who lives in DC? I mean even if he is someone I would like to date again it is to hard to do the distance thing. I just got out of something that fell apart because he moved to England. I am not sure my heart would recover again from the idear of missing someone and needing them but not being able to be near them, to touch them, to kiss them... So there it was at the end of dinner....the awkward moment of knowing someone wants to kiss you....but your not sure you should kiss them because it might just make it more complicated. So there I was..standing...waging a war within my own neurotic head..should I let him..should I not let him..should I let him...should I not let him.....until finally he broke the silence, thank goodness! LOL...He told me he wanted to kiss me but could tell I was a bit hesitant. I then explained to him that I was just not able to put myself in the moment knowing he was going back to DC in the morning. He did the whole we could try and see each other more....we could try and make it work....Ok now in my head I am thinking make it work? Damn this is my first date with him LOL......My second date I would have to fly to DC for...which is tempting because they have the best little french place in Georgetown. Then I snap back in to the reality of the moment and thank him for the wonderful time.... I do however plan on staying in contact with him...and you never know where life might lead me :). So I head home anxious to put on my comfy clothes and curl up with my dog. I have had this digital camera now for awhile and have finally gotten it all figured out so I am going through a stage of taking lots of photos despite the fact I hate taking photos of myself.....I never look natural and always feel uncomfortable LOL...You know sissy how I hate to take photos....but man I took like 20 yesterday of myself LOL.... Anyhow...I guess that is all for now..... (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 31st, 2005
12:57 pm	a tribute to someone who really lived She died. She was a beautiful person. She moved to this country from Holland with her husband so she might fight the poison that consumed her body. She left her family, her children, her friends, her support system.....she was soooo brave. I will miss her because it was the idear of her that made me remember how important it was to live. When I say live I do not mean the day to day grind of making money or buying more things. When I say live I mean that she used every moment she had to bring joy to others around her. She never felt sorry for herself. She never felt cheated for time. She loved life and man did life love her! I do not know why I am even writing in this. It just seemed that it might be a good way to say goodbye and a good way to share a part of her with others. One thing I can pass along from her is this....live life by each moment and never forget that each moment can change a life of someone you do not even know. Remember that life is a gift and even at the saddest moments remember that through sadness you find hope and through hope you find love and through love you find redemption. I will miss you and will remember you always. (Comment on this)
8:47 am	Things about me I stole this section from my friend Yed....I thought it would be a nice way to start my LJ and give a little info about me. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Texas Chainsaw ( man it was bad) WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW: Sons and Lovers DH Lawerence FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Risk or Chess FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Newsweek FAVORITE SMELLS: My mothers kitchen on Sunday mornings COMFORT FOOD: grilled salmon FAVORITE SOUNDS: the way my dog gruffs at me when he wants my attention WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: loosing someone I love WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING: I usually make coffee because I love the smell but I never drink it. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE: NONE LOL FUTURE CHILD'S NAME: Marih ( my new pup in 2 weeks, kind of like a child) FINISH THIS STATEMENT: "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, I WOULD": I would buy books for children in underprivledged schools so they could travel the world through books. DO YOU DRIVE FAST: Sometimes DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL: errrr NO? STORMS -- COOL OR SCARY: Very cool...I love to sleep during big storms. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: SAAB FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: I love old Irish Scotch and for more mellow nights I love wine. FINISH THIS STATEMENT,'IF I HAD THE TIME, I WOULD LOVE TO': Spend more time with the people that I love. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI: Yes IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE: I like my hair already? GLASS HALF-EMPTY OR FULL: half full HOW MANY CITIES/TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN: Way to many FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX: my cabin in the northlands FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: basketball and football ( as in soccer) WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED: nothing, well my dog sometimes TOILET PAPER/ PAPER TOWEL--OVER OR UNDER: Over (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
2:19 pm	Hmmmm Well, this is my first journal entry. What do I have to say, nothing? I will keep you updated on my nothing enteries LOL...Keep the faith there will be something more meaningful in the very near future I promise! (3 Comments |Comment on this)